office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
my liver is dry heaving
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
