are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
