after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
COCAINE IS GR8
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