three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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