she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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