I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
