Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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