I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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