My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
