so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
