i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
