Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
