giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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