He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
