Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
