I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
