Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
