and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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