pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Duck Duck Cougar?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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