So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
