Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
