I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
