I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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