she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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