Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
