you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
