y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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