I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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