sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
