We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
