LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
