My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
you made out with another girl for some wings
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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