it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
