Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
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