i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
