We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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