dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
