after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
