why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
