You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
