Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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