It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
