Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
