its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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