Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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