look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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