Porn is love you can see.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
