We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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