I need help removing her.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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