This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
