Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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